Love and Breast Wishes

 8/17/22          Day #73     Here we are, the night before my surgery.  Almost felt like it would never happen, right?  I'm sitting in my bed after performing one of my two showers.  I'm reading and rereading my prep material to make sure I get it all correct.  It was a whole month ago that they gave it to me and went over it before my original surgery date.  Surgical soap, body wipes, no lotions, no makeup, no nothing !  So the least I could do was give my hair a good blow out.  I know I'm going to be doped up on all the pain meds, but I want to wake up and feel a little bit like a human.  So if doing my hair is ridiculous then so be it!  My body is ready.     A breast friend of mine from my support group gave me her power recliner chair for me to sleep in.  She said she used it for months and it was the best!  So that's in my room next to my bed.  I've taken out the clothes I anticipate wearing so that I don't have to worry about pulling out drawers.  Any ite

 8/8/22           Day #64       **I'd like to preface this entry by saying I'm positive I will make a mistake and say something incorrect (since my "medical training" is only 2 months strong).  But this is my interpretation.       One week from Thursday!!! FINALLY!!! Surgery day is so close I can taste it.  I'm still looking over my shoulder and laying low but I feel we're in the homestretch... of this stage at least.     Some have asked, "so what is the surgery"? And then I realized I haven't even told you!  Let me back up a few steps and start from the buffet of options and why I chose what I chose.     When I first met with my medical oncologist she went over my biopsy results and what they call "tumor markers", which is basically a fancy term for what your specific tumor is and its characteristics.  These characteristics consist of size, grade (how fast the cells grow), stage (is it localized or has it spread), and hormone receptors

 8/4/22          Day #61       Well it's been 2 months since D-Day (diagnosis day, and ironically the real D-Day).  I'm still here.  Still waiting.  Still walking around with cancer.  Still not knowing what my treatment plan is after surgery.  Still feeling shooting pains across my breasts and wondering "is it growing?  has it spread?"     I am physically feeling better, thank goodness. Covid seems to be out of my system.  No lingering signs or symptoms.  I'm walking and (attempting) exercising everyday.  My definition of working out is different now.  Walking Louie and doing some pilates on my phone app have taken the place of the intense HIIT bootcamp style classes I used to do.  But I'm ok with that.  I'm giving my body some grace and remembering 1. I'm 39 and not 20 anymore 2. I've given birth to 2 human beings (1 being 9 1/2 lbs!) 3. I have cancer and my future treatments are going to wreak havoc on my body and I will never look/feel the same