D- Day

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 6/6/22        Day #1        D-Day

 

Today I got the call, "I'm so sorry, but it is breast cancer."  I was in the car driving the kids to camp.  A part of me knew and a part of me thought, NO!  They got it wrong, called the wrong person.  How quickly life can change.  A 5 minutes phone call and now my life has halted, a roller coaster of emotions, questions, calling family members and sharing the news.  All while my kids argue over who will survive in their game of Minecraft.  I could finally relate... creating my own "game" and wondering "what do I need for survival"?

So here's the good news: it's small and caught early, it's treatable, I'm young and otherwise healthy, I have a sister who I can swap stories and thoughts with who ventured down this road two years ago, I have amazing healthcare and doctors, a loving and generous support system, an awesome husband, and God.

This is a lot to process.  Even though I've had a few days of waiting for results for my mind to wander.  There is still shock, but I'm hopeful and confident.  I should hear from the surgeon tomorrow to schedule a meet and greet and talk next steps.  A strong feeling I have is gratitude.  I'm thankful I was flagged as high risk and it was caught on MRI.  I'm thankful for my family, my friends, and my doctors.

 

6/7/22        Day 1.5        Not a Dream


It's weird.  I wake up, Neil's alarm goes off, I take the dog out to potty, make coffee, the same morning routine as always.  But now knowing I have breast cancer.  It wasn't a bad dream.  It's still here.  I'll still make the kids breakfast, clean the house, grocery shop, take the kids to their activities, but all of a sudden I'm a different person.  I'm still me but there's a whole new me that I didn't plan for, but here she is.  A mixed cocktail of emotions and fears.

There's a sense of relief once you finally get the news.  I waited for days, well, weeks really, since the initial "we found something" call. The last couple of days leading up to D-Day were the hardest.  Neil was out of town for work.  STAY BUSY they all say.  And then my daughter gets a stomach bug and we're home bound for 3 days.  My house has never been so clean!  It's all I could do.  Either that or go to the Google machine and send my mind down a rabbit hole.

So we'll see what we get into today and how it goes.  Do we go to the pool? I just realized I may not be getting into a bathing suit much this summer.  If that's the case then I'll have another scoop of ice cream!


 

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