I'm Still Here

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     My parents have arrived!  I can't believe it's been since Thanksgiving since I saw them.  Neil and the kids have ventured to his parents' house in Boston for the weekend.  I get 4 whole days with my parents all to myself and I'm like a kid on Christmas morning!

    Today I took my mom to a luxurious local spa at the beach and we spent the whole day there.  We lounged by the pool, drank refreshing cocktails, and enjoyed massages.  I asked her to tell me more in detail about her mother's battle with breast cancer.  I'm sure she's told me in the past, but I didn't listen with the curious and cautious mind I have now.  She described her diagnosis and her treatments and the final weeks of her life.  In the 1960's everyone diagnosed was a "guinea pig".  When all other treatments failed my grandmother would drive to the hospital at the university and say "use me".  She had nothing to lose.  Towards the end of her fight the doctors sent her home, telling her there was nothing else they could do for her.  After being home for a few weeks she would get in the car and drive back to the hospital and say "I'm still here".  When my mother  told me this it struck me.  I am at the beginning of my journey.  Fears and anxieties and the unknown.  But if I would wake up and look myself in the mirror and say "I'm still here" all the fears and anxieties would not feel so heavy.  I don't know what my treatment plan looks like.  I don't know how many surgeries I will need.  I don't know if the cancer will come back.  But what I do know is that I am here.  And I will show up.  


**pictures from our spa day**





Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 14, 2022 at 4:56 PM

    Enjoy every minute you two! Looking marvelous, by the way...

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 14, 2022 at 8:58 PM

    Looks like so much fun!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 15, 2022 at 5:03 AM

    I’m so happy you have this time with your parents. And you’re right you are still here. And you continue to be here for your friends too. I love you so much. Your pictures show you loving the moment and looking refreshed and hopefully. I’m here for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJuly 16, 2022 at 6:38 PM

    Yup! You're still here! I've been told by countless drs who've said,"and you're still alive! Wow!" Mot knowing the outcome of an illness is always anxiety ridden but, we're still alive & with that gives a whole new meaning to living day to day! Live & hugs~Rebecca Swan

    ReplyDelete

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