Love and Breast Wishes

     7/26/22          Day#51          Today is the day I married my best friend.  Fourteen years ago we went to the altar and said "I do" in front of God, our families, and our friends.  Let's be honest.. we had NO idea what we were doing!  Don't get me wrong, we were madly in love and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.  We were done dating and thought we knew ourselves and what we wanted in life.  And thankfully fate (or God, whichever you choose) brought us together one September night at a bar in Annapolis.  Neil was fresh out of a relationship and I was married to my dream of being a performer!  My career was starting with my first job lined up out of college.  I was hired on my first cruise ship as a singer/dancer.  Neil was in his last year at the US Naval Academy and had his sights set on being a modern day Maverick.  Needless to say both of us were not looking for a relationship.  But life had other plans.  Better plans.      This day 14

 6/18/22          Day #43     It's the day before my scheduled surgery.  I've been waiting for over a month for this.  I've googled all the things, YouTubed all the things, joined all the support groups, and purchased all the button down cozy shirts and pillows I can find.  My parents drove 13 hours to get here.  My kids are scheduled for play dates and camps.  Friends have signed up to bring us meals on Meal Train.  Neil and I went on our final date, Mom and I went to the spa, I've put checks in all the boxes on my mile long list of to-do's before surgery.  Everything was going to plan until....     I woke up the morning of our spa day with a heaviness in my chest and a dry cough.  The kids had some sniffles and sneezes the past few days so I chalked it up to allergies.  The next day was my pre-op appointment.  The hour and a half appointment consisted of blood draw, EKG, Covid test, and going over the packet of things to do and things not to do days leading up to

      My parents have arrived!  I can't believe it's been since Thanksgiving since I saw them.  Neil and the kids have ventured to his parents' house in Boston for the weekend.  I get 4 whole days with my parents all to myself and I'm like a kid on Christmas morning!     Today I took my mom to a luxurious local spa at the beach and we spent the whole day there.  We lounged by the pool, drank refreshing cocktails, and enjoyed massages.  I asked her to tell me more in detail about her mother's battle with breast cancer.  I'm sure she's told me in the past, but I didn't listen with the curious and cautious mind I have now.  She described her diagnosis and her treatments and the final weeks of her life.  In the 1960's everyone diagnosed was a "guinea pig".  When all other treatments failed my grandmother would drive to the hospital at the university and say "use me".  She had nothing to lose.  Towards the end of her fight the doctors

           So I've got a funny story.  It's a weird feeling sitting around waiting for surgery.  I've made a list of all the things I want to do with my family and projects I want to accomplish.  Last night I went to the movies for the first time in about 10 years and saw "Elvis" (amazing by the way!), I've cleaned and organized rooms in the house that I've put off for months, and the other day I painted an accent wall in the dining room.  I'm not scared I'm going to die on the operating table but there is a weird feeling of my theme song being Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Are Dying" and checking things off a bucket list.     My kids have benefited too.  We've done water parks, theme parks, the beach, and a few other special days of fun.  On the hottest day of the year we planned a morning at the indoor ice skating rink.  We haven't been in years and after watching the winter Olympics my daughter has it in her mind that she is

 Day #21          Rabbit Hole          06/26/22     We're "staying busy".  It's exhausting.  This weekend was non-stop.  Yesterday I cleaned the condo all day and then met Neil and the kids at our friends' house an hour away. I was pooped by the time we got home at 9:30pm.  I got the kids to bed and then sat for 10 seconds and remembered, our son's birthday party tomorrow!  Not that there was a ton to do to prepare but I needed to gather everything we needed to take in the morning.     The party today was great.  All of our friends, kids had a blast at the water parks, and for a few hours it just felt normal.   We got home and just vegg'd.  Last night at our friends' house my girlfriend walked me through her whole preventative surgery and recovery.  It sparked my curiosity about the dreaded drains.   So I went to YouTube like a typical male needing instructions and went down a rabbit hole.  Once again it just made it all feel so real.  Watching these v